Comments on Is There Any Mommy Out There?: Struck By Lightning

Katy - Thanks for commenting. I love your perspec...

2008-08-21T13:45:00.000-07:00

Katy - Thanks for commenting. I love your perspective. I think the message of Christianity (which is lovely) is at its best within people like you, who remain open to other views and respectful of them. Actually, I think that's true of all faiths, organized or otherwise.

Amy - Yeah, since I think I 'stole' that from Buddha and probably countless others, I think you are probably good ;-)

Michelle - Right! And that is important, spiritually and otherwise.

Wow. Two hours? Now that's impressive. I was un...

2008-08-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

Wow. Two hours? Now that's impressive. I was unhappy with the church we HAD been going to and their 1:20+ mass. My bargain since a child was 59 minutes 59 seconds. New church? way less than an hour. Probably due to hte fact that it's a small country church with fewer than 70 people at every mass I've attended so far. Oh and yes, a lovely nursery that the wee ones love. I SO get that. No guilt. It's all good. It refreshes you so you can be a better mommy later, right?

No absolution needed. You are spot on if you ask ...

2008-08-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

No absolution needed. You are spot on if you ask me.

All those rules and regs made by man really f-ed up the whole God thing. We need to take it back to basics.

I loved your thought about working towards the harmony - I'm stealing that one. Which by conventional religious standards would be breaking a commandment, but I think PFUOIC will cut me some slack, eh?

Okay, Any, I'm late to the party but what the hell...

2008-08-20T11:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, Any, I'm late to the party but what the hell. I love MinMom's perspective on Texas, because it is so true. I grew up here, so life without religion (specifically Christianity) is almost non-existent. My Christian faith is a very important part of my life, and for me, an important part of that is corporate worship (ie...church). Church is a place where I get the help I need to focus on God and where I learn the stuff I need in order to live my life without going insane. (And yes, we have a guitar-playing guy AND they actually serve Starbucks.)

HOWEVER...that is just me. I am bothered by the "playground Jesus talk" that MinMom refers to. We've seen that too many times to count. I don't think it's my business (or my child's) to try to talk others into our personal belief system. I do think it's my business to LOVE God (or Puh-foo-oh-ic) and LOVE people. Beyond that, I believe God will do whatever He/She wants to do.

One of the things I love best about blogging is that it enables me to hang with people that I would probably never find down here in Tejas. For every MinMom (or Any, etc.) there are 100 girls who will tell you you're going to hell. I am so grateful for y'all!!

Okay, that's probably enough of a response to last awhile. Happy Wednesday!!

I'll jump in one more time...Some Christians belie...

2008-08-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

I'll jump in one more time...

Some Christians believe that theirs in the only way. Others (like me) believe that Jesus died for us, whether one believes or not. I don't believe anyone is godless, just because they don't buy Jesus. And there are Christians who'd condemn me for that.

The tricky part is finding the church (or organization) that can help you do your exploring. If it's a group of like-minded people on the internet (or at SB) - great! The point is to be in the discussion.

I echo your appreciation of the respectfulness of others shown on this thread.

MinivanMom - Um, yeah, a very cool eight year old....

2008-08-18T21:28:00.000-07:00

MinivanMom - Um, yeah, a very cool eight year old. I hope to bring my kids up so that they are that knowledgable and deliberate. I've been to our local Univeralist service and I liked it a lot. The congregation isn't as solid here as I would like, but it's growing.

The tone of these comments is awesome. Respectful...

2008-08-18T21:23:00.000-07:00

The tone of these comments is awesome. Respectful and not demeaning. Thank you!

Quart - I think I will. It has a nice ring to it.

Maura - good point. I'm such a lawyer, covering all my bases.

Eat, Play, Love - I think we're going for a full SB. Your choice of beverages. Dream big.

Issas - Exactly the setting I prefer.

Laura - Thanks for participating - I know it's hard when your views differ from the poster. I guess one of the downsides of not being a Christian is that I don't have that out. My guilt is my own. I don't feel guilty for not believing, I think that is completely up to the individual and I don't think PFUOIC cares about belief systems. I feel some guilt for taking advantage of the services the church provides since I am not supportive of many key aspects of the overall message. Like for instance that people can be absolved of wrongs or guilt by professing to certain beliefs. That doesn't work for me.

Anon - Thanks for joining in. Discussions are boring if everyone agrees. For me, the issue with what you say (and with Christianity in general) is that you seem to define God so narrowly. Maybe I am reading your comment wrong, and if so I apologize. I don't think belief in God means only belief in the Christian view of God and Jesus. If you read these comments again, all of these mothers (and the ones that aren't mothers) have a belief system. Many write about being moved to explore it further by motherhood. They just don't have a Christian belief system. That is in a nutshell, is why Christianity (and other Western religions) don't work for me. There's no getting around the doctrine that if you don't believe in the Father and the Son, you are godless. I can't accept that.

Well now it's official. We simply must be best ...

2008-08-18T18:23:00.000-07:00

Well now it's official. We simply *must* be best friends.

I'm not sure how far back in my blog you've read (or how long you've been following me) but I have often blogged about my problems with religion and my spiritual beliefs, AND my quest (especially in Texas) to raise my children without the Christian indoctrination. And honestly? I think I'm doing a great job. I never want to disparage any religion to my children, and my son (the precocious 8 year old) is the first one to say "well, MAYBE that's true, but we don't really know. But maybe you're right! But maybe you're not" to his classmates and friends. We've had several instances where classmates (at recess. For some reason they talk Jesus at recess here in Texas. Don't ask) have become very insistent and vehement with him that he "must" believe in God and the Bible and Jesus or else he is going to Hell. It's interesting. Fortunately, we have discussed it so much that he's comfortable saying "well, I don't believe that, but I understand that you do"

He's a pretty cool 8 year old, I think.

Anyway, we go to Unitarian services, because I want to raise my children with an appreciation and understanding for major religions, and I want to encourage that spiritual reflection and quest, without indoctrinating. I love UU for that.

Love this post, love you!

I'm probably going to be in the minority for sayin...

2008-08-18T17:09:00.000-07:00

I'm probably going to be in the minority for saying this, but I'm not sure how anybody doesn't believe in God after giving birth. It is such a beautiful and meaningful experience that some higher power has to be involved. For me that is God. My children are such a blessing that I will always be thankful to God for the honor to be their mother. I also believe that Christianity is designed to make you think and sometimes make you feel a little uncomfortable or question what you are hearing. Maybe the uneasy feeling that some of you are having is God's way of saying that it's ok to question what you are thinking. God isn't perfect. Religion isn't perfect.

I'd go in a church and I have, many types, but I a...

2008-08-18T14:56:00.000-07:00

I'd go in a church and I have, many types, but I always end up annoyed with the dogmatic talks. I guess my beliefs haven't found a place yet. At least not one within four walls. Now a church of life, on the beach with a Latte....my kind of church.

But wait isn't Starbucks a church? I have always b...

2008-08-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

But wait isn't Starbucks a church? I have always been enamored by the churches that have a nursery. I grew up Catholic and we were toted to the pews shortly after our births. No crying rooms, no breaks for moms, the learning started asap.

Can I request your church serve something other than tazo chai, it's my least favorite. If so, I am in.

Now I've gone a re-read all the posts, I want to a...

2008-08-18T13:16:00.000-07:00

Now I've gone a re-read all the posts, I want to add-

the problem w/ dropping off kids and sneaking out is that the church couldn't find you if - don't-even-think-it -- there were an emergency with your child.

thanks again for the great discussion.

We just recently started a church service where co...

2008-08-18T13:08:00.000-07:00

We just recently started a church service where coffee and snacks are totally permitted in the sanctuary. There's lots of kids there, too, but you could leave yours in the nursery.

Thanks for the 'confession.' But forget the guilt - the 'son of G' died on the cross so that we don't have to. As a professional church person (non-ordained), I appreciate insight into how people think and experience church.

No absolution needed from this quarter. I'd never ...

2008-08-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

No absolution needed from this quarter. I'd never pinned an acronym on PFUOIC, but yeah, that's me too.

I'll go to church when I have to, though I don't particularly enjoy it (no kids = no nursery = no secret thrill), but I also don't worry much about lying by being there or being struck by lightning. Kind of doesn't go with my lack of belief system. :-)

I'm with Kate, except that 2 hours is JUST enough ...

2008-08-18T03:42:00.000-07:00

I'm with Kate, except that 2 hours is JUST enough time to sneak out and catch a movie. That's where I'd be.

From now on are you going to refer to your husband as "My ham-eating husband?" Because I think you should.

I feel compelled to list some points of universal ...

2008-08-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

I feel compelled to list some points of universal agreement. In case PFUOIC (or possibly my neighborhood church) is listening.

1) Churches should have SB in them. Or at the very least, SB should be allowed in church. (If guitars of any kind would expediate this improvement, I'm all for them.)

2) Once a month, parents should be able to just drop their kids at the nursery and leave. Without guilt. It ought to be in the bible/torah/rules somewhere. Possibly the ten commandments. Please add.

3) I should join a gym. With childcare.

You all make me think. First, I love the people t...

2008-08-17T21:01:00.000-07:00

You all make me think. First, I love the people that visit here. Differing opinions and faiths stated simply and respectfully, no one yelling or judging or damning anyone to anything horrid. Thank you! Religion is a tough subject sometimes and we are handling it with grace. Pats our backs.

Tracey and Jessi and Andrea - I feel the same. I want my kids to understand all faiths. I want them to understand why there are different ways of looking at the same concept and how different people need to understand 'god' in different ways. But, I do worry about them ending up with nothing. Do you know what I mean. I have a strong faith, it's just hard to put into words. I don't want them to reject everything, or to blindly follow an organized faith because they are attracted to the structure that I lack. Sigh. I worry about these things. I mostly want them to understand that every faith is right, when it's used compassionately towards a higher understanding of the universe and our purpose and every faith is wrong when it's warped into hating people that don't believe exactly the same things, or even just thinking that they are doomed to less in some kind of afterlife. Because that is the precusor to thinking of some people as less in this life. Does any of this bother you?

AMomTwoBoys - I was braced for it. The commenters have been awesome. I think my reach is also a lot smaller than yours!

Mam - Thank you. From your fellow sarcastic, sort of Jew (by upbringing anyway).

TZ - Awesome. PFUOIC loves ingenuity.

TZ and Valerie - More seriously, that is a major issue I've always had with church. Some people seem to think that just showing up makes you above others in some way, 'a good person.' I've met incredibly good people and incredibly bad people of all faiths. GOING isn't the important criteria. If that were the case, I would be golden, which, ahem, isn't quite the way things are.

Psychmama - Uh huh. I'm nodding. The problem, I think, is that organized religion is run by humans. And, you know, we manage to convolute things and mess them up a lot. We get things wrong. And then, give us a little authority, tell us we are following the word of 'god.' Yikes.

I'm totally with you on your thoughts about PFUOIC...

2008-08-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

I'm totally with you on your thoughts about PFUOIC (except I still call it/he/she God). My dad is a minister, and I have a whole lot of history that has led me to some hang-ups with organized religion. Perhaps my main issue is that I think God gets put in box (metaphorically speaking) that's formed with definitions and descriptions that just end up limiting the very greatness of God. And then somewhere, amidst all the rules and definitions of what is a sin, the bigger message of love, peace, harmony and forgiveness gets lost all too often. Don't even get me started on church "politics," the pressure to join committees and small groups, and the gossiping and hurtfulness that goes on behind the scenes. Sigh.

We haven't attended church since J was born due to all of her medical issues and the fact that church (and the nursery) is a huge germ haven. Now that J's doing better, we have to decide how we want to handle her religious education.

Huge kudos to you for having the courage to blog about your beliefs in a world that's often quick to judge.

BTW, Hubby and I have joked about dropping J off at the nursery and then going OUT for SB!! (WE WERE TOTALLY KIDDING ANY CPS PEOPLE READING THIS!!)

I've said they should add SB to churches for years, so you've got my vote on that one!

Yes, I love the nursery. Sing it loud, sing it pr...

2008-08-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, I love the nursery. Sing it loud, sing it proud. I have a relationship with God, but I know all too well how "Christianity" can be viewed by the world, how Christians can appear all too judgmental, hypocritical, holier-than-thou, you name it, and I know how many different skewed versions of God there are out there, some damning, some all-embracing, etc. And I don't think there is a church out there that can claim to be perfect by any means, so I've learned not to put too many unrealistic expectations on the church where I choose to worship. But I believe that God loves you just the same, even if you just show up to church to relish in the nursery and enjoy a little quiet time away from the kiddos. ;)

And I love how thought-provoking your blog posts are, so keep it up.

Is anyone playing a guitar? You have to tell them...

2008-08-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

Is anyone playing a guitar? You have to tell them to get someone with a guitar. Once they've got the guy with a guitar, you're close to getting everyone in with Starbucks.

my confession...I sneak starbucks into church...my...

2008-08-17T15:33:00.000-07:00

my confession...I sneak starbucks into church...

my other confession...although I beleive, I don't really enjoy church people...I go, I listen, my soul gets fed...but there are very few people I want to get to know..I'm too imperfect and church people seem so very perfect, I'd be afraid I say something wrong (ie, too liberal) or laugh at somehting inappropriate...(oh almost every service, I have to do the look around thing only to realize I'm the only one who found humor in whatever the pastor was saying---ooops....)

such is life....I'm okay with it.

(But: Jewish and sarcastic here, so...maybe a back...

2008-08-17T15:32:00.000-07:00

(But: Jewish and sarcastic here, so...maybe a backup plan would be wise, just in case.)

I absolve you. Yes. I can do that. You're welcome....

2008-08-17T15:31:00.000-07:00

I absolve you. Yes. I can do that. You're welcome.

I'm beginning to think that people like you more t...

2008-08-17T15:28:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to think that people like you more than they like me. Because you write this post and everyone's all nice and non-judgmental. I write a similar post and get told in no uncertain terms that I'm going to burn in hell for all eternity (by a "friend").

What's up with that?!

Oh...amen, btw. Maybe we could go to "church" together in DC. :0)

I am a Christian, but so far I haven't found a chu...

2008-08-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

I am a Christian, but so far I haven't found a church that believes the same way I do. So, just like my parents before me, I "practice" my faith at home.

My parents fully believe that it is up to each person to find the faith that is meant for them. They bought us books about the world's religions and supported us as we experimented. It's what I want for my children, too.

We don't go to church because, as much as I've chosen Christianity as MY faith, I don't want my kids to be told Jesus is the ONLY WAY, even though that's what the bible says.

Here's what's great about the gym nursery: I get a trash magazine and do the recumbent bike. It's low-impact, I can totally read, and afterward I actually exercised! Yee-haw!