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There are times when the way we can connect with each other leaves me fragile and speechless.  I forget and loose my way.  I stumble and flail. My edges get too sharp until I cut someone close to me or retreat, bruised, into myself. I probably say this too much, but I believe in the power of storytelling to reach others and say, “here’s what is too sharp, too beautiful, too full, too much today.”

Wendy left a comment on my post at Mamalode, two hearts, two stones, and it won’t matter if you haven’t read it because her words are so simple and so true. They stand alone.  I had to share them.  Wendy, I hope you don’t mind.

Three days after my mom died, at my dad’s request, I walked into town to see if the weekly paper carried her obituary. For some reason (like, it was three days after my mom died), I didn’t wear a raincoat. In January. In Oregon. On a rainy day. I carried a pocketful of change, because didn’t have the mental capacity to figure out how much I’d need. After I bought the papers, I wondered if I had enough change left to buy myself a latte, so I could sit somewhere dry and look through them.

The man behind the counter saw me counting out my coins and asked what I wanted. I said, “I’m not sure yet, let me see how much I have.” He said, “Well, you just tell me what you want, and I’ll make it for you anyway.” So I got a three dollar latte for a buck fifty.

He didn’t even know. Everyone is kind to you when your mom dies, but this guy must just be kind to everyone.

It’s hard to remember when strangers are annoying, that they too are special, and we do not know their lives. I don’t want to be the people snapping at the lady who just lost her baby. I’d rather be the guy being gentle to the lady who just lost her mom.

If I can live even a small part of my life by the creed of that last paragraph, I’ll be thrilled.

Storytelling is important because some stories stay with us and make us better.  Don’t you think?


While I’m gushing about sharing stories: LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER announced an epic 2013 season with shows in twenty-four cities across America.  Talk about power.  We’re changing the world, one story at a time.

23 Responses to Connection
  1. Mom24
    November 11, 2012 | 12:58 am


  2. Korinthia Klein
    November 11, 2012 | 1:09 am

    That’s lovely. Thank you so much for sharing that story. That’s the creed I try to live my own life by as well, and this post gives me renewed sense of its importance.

  3. andy
    November 11, 2012 | 1:29 am

    Wonderful! and I can only hope to live my life as well as that.

  4. hokgardner
    November 11, 2012 | 1:46 am

    Absolutely beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.

  5. Mama D
    November 11, 2012 | 2:42 am

    And let’s hear it for kindness to strangers, even when we don’t understand how badly they need it. Especially when we don’t understand how badly they need it.

  6. Mama D
    November 11, 2012 | 2:43 am

    And let’s hear it for kindness to strangers, even when we don’t understand how badly they need it. Especially when we don’t understand how badly they need it.

  7. tracy@sellabitmum
    November 11, 2012 | 2:52 pm

    Wendy’s comment has left me sobbing..and gives me a gentle(firm)reminder to always do better for others. xo

  8. Stephanie Precourt
    November 11, 2012 | 4:45 pm

    Wow that comment.


  9. Ann
    November 11, 2012 | 5:09 pm

    Wow–tears. Thank you Stacey and Wendy.

  10. Jessica
    November 11, 2012 | 5:48 pm

    This storytelling is so important and you are so good at it. Every time I read your writing I am reminded how much we need to share, just in case someone else sees themselves in our words.

  11. Candice@NotesFromABroad
    November 11, 2012 | 7:40 pm

    Just what I needed to push me over into the weeping that has been hovering over me today … thank you :)

    She is right though, so very right.. kindness often comes from the last expected place . If we can just remember it and be kind too, how wonderful it would be.

  12. Candice@NotesFromABroad
    November 11, 2012 | 11:55 pm

    Stacey, I can only read so many of your stories at once.
    Then I have to go have my own little meltdown. You make me cry.
    You make me cry when things are funny, the kids surprise you and you are happy, the dog, Matt, and babies .. it all makes me cry.
    I might need therapy.
    But I read the story about the car battery dying and Matt and the dishes and you made me cry . Thank you. :)

  13. Marta
    November 12, 2012 | 2:38 am

    You’re right. Absolutely. Because you never know someone’s story and you should always be kind no matter what.

  14. Wendy
    November 12, 2012 | 3:15 am

    Oh my goodness. I have had such a crappy day, and instead of breaking up the kids’ sword fight and making them help me with dishes, I came over to Anymommy to brighten my day with some lovely writing…and you are sharing my comment.

    I HIT MY OWN CAR in the driveway today, my kids won’t listen to a damn thing I say, I’m sick and we have one more day in this never ending four day weekend, and I’m still going to count this as a good day.

  15. jen
    November 13, 2012 | 5:43 am

    could you be any more authentic? i love you lots, my friend.
    and did you see? minneapolis made the list! with a few of my friends leading the way! so excited.

  16. Clare
    November 13, 2012 | 10:27 am

    just what i needed to hear today.. love what you do with your words. thank you for sharing other people’s wonderful words too.

  17. Galit Breen
    November 13, 2012 | 12:05 pm


    {I want to be the coffee shop guy, too.}

    Stunning, as always.

    {Your words, your heart.}


  18. deb
    November 13, 2012 | 2:07 pm

    i just love stories. they shape us, teach us, connect us. and eventually they’ll be used to remember us (fondly, we hope!). I especially love stories like this one. so thank you for sharing wendy and stacey!

  19. Lady Jennie
    November 14, 2012 | 11:27 am

    This story made me want to cry.

  20. Roshni
    November 15, 2012 | 12:20 am

    The most wonderful comment ever!! :)

  21. Susanne@babyhuddle
    November 15, 2012 | 1:58 pm

    How lovely :) I found your blog via your post on mamalode and I just wanted to tell you how wonderful I think it is. Thanks for writing so beautifully :)

  22. MommyNamedApril
    November 16, 2012 | 3:39 am

    completely fucking brilliant.

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    May 21, 2013 | 12:03 am

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