I haven’t completely humiliated myself as a parent for your benefit in a while.
Back in December, when I had a mild obsession with terrorizing my children with the diabolical Elf on the Shelf, Jingles, I saw this on Pinterest.
It’s from the lovely site of Rae of Light Photography, where you will find the kind of stunning creativity coupled with gorgeous photography that can cause you to curl up into a little parenting ball of fail. Never fear! That kind of crippling superiority will never be found here. You are very, very welcome. Notice, in this post highlighting Elf Rojos’ mischief, how the noses of the blue-eyed cherubs are dabbed red in adorably perfect little circles.
I am sure that’s because the parent in charge of delightfully teasing her children by posing as a nose-painting elf was very careful to use face paint or other appropriate crafting medii and some kind of clever circle template.
Yeah, well. Leprechauns drink a little more than Christmas elves, on average, and then occasionally, as they are dying the milk green with food coloring, they get the brilliant idea to run upstairs with the bottle of green food coloring and dip a small paint brush directly into said bottle, which they were conveniently holding anyway, in order to enchantingly dabble green on their children’s noses.
It makes you want to burst into song, doesn’t it? “One of these things, is not like the other, one of these things, is NOT the same!”
There really aren’t any words. My crafting ineptitude can not be contained by mere human language. My capacity for making others feel good about their parenting is really limitless, however.
I have to admit, I had no idea of the virulence and spreading power of food coloring. I only dipped the paint brush once. Also, I did learn from my initial error and kept my dabbling to a dull roar on the remainder of my children. It’s the reason God gives us more than one offspring. Practice makes perfect.
Poor Gee. It had mostly faded by school Monday morning. He was an excellent sport, which is a good life skill to foster. And I have learned my lesson. Pinterest is just for looking. Better to leave the actual execution to the professionals.
P.S. Our LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER Spokane table-read is Friday! Wish us all luck. Or broken legs. Whichever.
P.P.S. He promptly lost his first tooth. The tooth fairy didn’t even THINK of painting anything. She didn’t even search “tooth fairy pranks.” Smart girl, that tooth fairy. Smarter than your average leprechaun.