Issues

1) I have to poultice my counter top because someone who shall not be named stained them with grease. We, that is a royal we, know full well that grease stains the counter tops but we let grease sit on them anyway. Do I look like someone who wants to poultice counter tops to you? I would be grumpy if one of my children needed a poultice. That is way too much maintenance for counter tops.

2) Exacto knife with five extra razor blades. In my washing machine. Seriously? Do we need to talk? There are easier ways to get rid of me.

3) The knives need to go into the pretty wood silverware holder from I.kea with the pointy end of the blade facing the drawer pull. That way when you open it and everything shifts backwards, the knives don't stab the wood at the back of the drawer. I don't care if you think that is insane. Just do it. I'm an insane person with knife issues, do you really want to mess with me?

4) Halloween party. Four kids. On my own. I made prize bags with cut out stenciled jack-o-lanterns on them. From pretty paper. Worship me for I am a craft goddess. My craft goddessship made possible by Meggan - who gave me the pretty paper - and Pixar - which gave me Cars. Yes, this was over a week ago, I'm really proud and I decided to include it on my list.

5) Trucks can not have cancer. Trust me on this. If you use the word cancer in the same word as truck one more time, so help me, I will... I don't know what I'll do, but it will hurt. You. I know you know what I mean.

6) Buying me ice cream is sweet, it may even be romantic, but it's not foreplay.

7) Have I mentioned that I'm having Cue's hearing tested? He drinks "runks" with breakfast. "Wants mine runks!" "Where mine runks?" "More runks pease." It's white. Comes from a cow? It does a body good? Right? M-I-L-K. R-U-N-K-S. Not. even. close.

8) I still love our Positive! Discipline! preschool, but if Gee tells me one more time that "mommy makes me sad," or "mommy hurts my feelings" when I discipline him, positively or not so positively, I'm might loose what's left of my mind. Yes! Good! That's the whole point of discipline! If it made you happy, it would be a reward and that's not what I'm going for when you sit on your baby brother's head. He is already hard of hearing. The kid thinks we drink "runks."

9) I've got nothing. I'm going to go eat mint chocolate chip ice cream and watch Twilight. So that I can be even more afraid of the dark than I already am.

I'm closing my comments for most of the month of November while I participate in National Novel Writing Month and National Blog Posting Month. I can't ask you to talk to me every freaking day for thirty days. That's cruel and usual punishment. My email is always open - anymommyoutthere@gmail.com.


E&E Tally: 4316 words (I wrote a se.x scene. It didn't involve ice cream.)
Blog posts: 8/30 (Does this one count? It's kind of a slacker post.)