If You Give a Man a Truck

If you give a man a truck for his birthday, he'll probably want a dog to go with it. When you tell him he can't have a dog, he'll be sad and grumpy and he'll notice all of the rust holes in the side of the truck.

You'll probably tell him to suck it up because you only paid $550 for the truck and his parents and your parents still had to help you. But, if he notices the rust holes in the side of the truck, he'll probably want a welder so that he can learn to fix truck rust holes. If he wants a welder, chances are he'll want a 220 volt outlet installed in the garage to plug it into. You'll probably end up thinking, well, shit, I could have just bought a more expensive truck. And did I just give my husband ANOTHER project while my mudroom lacks shelves and shoe bins?

If you tell him he can't have a welder and a 220 volt outlet because you just bought him a truck, he'll probably mock you for buying a truck without having the slightest clue about trucks whatsoever. He might call his friend and make fun of your truck purchasing capabilities. His mocking might cause you to remember that the truck is at the mechanic being checked over. When you call the mechanic, he might tell you that you got a really good deal on the truck. He might even tell you that the engine is in GREAT shape and that if your husband doesn't want the truck he will buy it from you. The mechanic's praise will make your head so big that you might not be able to fit into the truck. You'll probably gloat and you might remind your husband over and over that you ROCK at buying trucks and he should bow down to your truck picking prowess.

This kind of gloating tends to make a man sad. He might decide he still needs a dog to make him feel better. And, chances are, if he starts thinking about a dog, he'll be glad he has his truck to go with it.



(Credit to Laura Numeroff, author of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and to another blogger in my reader who had this idea. I can't find the post now. Write to me and I'll link you!)

I'm closing my comments for most of the month of November while I participate in National Novel Writing Month and National Blog Posting Month. I can't ask you to talk to me every freaking day for thirty days. That's cruel and usual punishment. My email is always open - anymommyoutthere@gmail.com.

E&E Tally: 331 words (Gulp. This is really hard. At this rate, I'll hit 50K on 11/30/2020.)
Blog posts: 2/30