Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Pediatrician's Office, Take 200

I hate going to the pediatrician. I hate it. It makes me feel small and stupid and uselessly overprotective. It's always the same and I never learn. I wrote this exact same post last year, only it was longer, because I had more energy for bitching at that time.

One of the kids has an issue of some kind. For days. At first, I'm all, kids, fevers, issues. Blech. Don't give it to me you small, adorable germ-spreading machine.

And then, one of the two adults involved cracks. (Ahem. MATT!!) Do you think it's serious? NO. What if? Googling happens. It's all down hill. I end up in a small not-as-sterile-as-I'd-like-to-think examining room being patronized by the very people who assured me on the phone, less than two hours ago, that yes, dumbass, your child should be seen by a doctor! today! at 11:00! drop everything!

I do! Because I love my kids and I feel slightly responsible for their well being. Thankfully, there's never a damn thing wrong with them except that they are kids and they are gross and they put their germy hands on everything and then into their mouths on a regular basis. Which I knew. But I can not resist the siren call to sit in that office and stare at the sad fish and be told what I freaking dumbass I am.

I'm not bitter. I just blame Matt.

About a month ago, Cue broke out in a horrendous rash all over his itsy bitty little baby body. It was red and horrible and everywhere. He was on amoxicillin at the time for an ear infection that I had ABSOLUTELY no idea he had. I sent him off with his father to his eighteen month well baby check thinking, well, mostly that he was an incredibly well baby. Whoops.

On rash night, I felt calm because he wasn't swelling or having any trouble breathing. I gave him a bath and Benadryl and went to bed figuring he'd be fine in the morning. In the morning, he was covered in the same rash only redder and possibly more comprehensive.

But, still breathing normally and non-swelly and all that good stuff. I have to admit, I expected the rash to be gone. Matt told me to call the nurse at the pediatrician's office and see what they thought. I didn't want to do it. Because, um, because the nurse ALWAYS says we have to bring whatever kid I'm calling about to the doctor and it's always nothing and the doctor is always nice but patronizing and it's a big huge colossal waste of my time and germ exposure and a $30.00 co-pay besides.

That's a lot of chai tea lattes to be told that your kid is fine and why are you here again you crazy woman? OH YEAH! Because your NURSE told me to come.

I especially did not want to call for the rash because I fed Cue shrimp for dinner the night before and I had little recollection (absolutely none) of whether the rash started before or after the shrimp dinner. It also may not have been the first time he had shrimp and yes he's only like 20 months old and oh my god I totally followed that food allergy rule about only one new food a month until they are eighteen (or maybe three, whatever) with Gee, but now I have a million kids and it's hard and he eats peanut butter, so what's a little shellfish, really?

I called. He's little and he was all rashy. As usual, the nurse freaked me out and said I needed to bring him in because he could have an! amoxicillin! allergy! I pointed out on the phone that I had observed carefully and he was breathing fine. Tongue normal size, etc.

We went and we sat and it sucked. The doctor took one look at him and kind of pushed on him a little and told me that so long as the rash turns white when you push on it, they don't worry about it all that much. That's called blanching, apparently. If a rash blanches, it's just a non-worrying all over your baby's body rash. So yeah. Thanks for that. Good to know. YESTERDAY.

Oh and there's no way to know if it's the amoxicillin or the shrimp or something else, but why are you feeding him shrimp again?

For kicks? Hoping to set off some kind of allergic chain reaction in my twenty-month-old? I'm dumb? No. Because that's what I had in my fridge. And I wanted it. And he wants what I eat and he's had it before and so I...

Whatever. The doctor rolled her eyes and said not to feed him shrimp and that she would note a possible amoxicillin reaction, but not an allergy because that would be a huge pain if he ever needs antibiotics in the future. Oh and as far as rashes go, no biggie, but if he ever has trouble breathing after eating shrimp or taking any medicine, go to an ER.

Thank you for that. I might have called your nurse.

Yesterday was the fourth day that Gee ran a fever with no other symptoms at all. I kept waiting for puking or snot or something, but nothing. I stood firm against Matt's call the nurse crap for a while because I have been down this road numerous times and I know where it leads. The nurse will tell me to bring him in IMMEDIATELY. The doctor will look at me like I'm insane and god I hate it so freaking much. NO. Also, thirty bucks.

Matt. Voice of parenting reason. Mr. rational. Mr. "it's worth thirty dollars to know he's okay."
Oh yeah? Mr. reasonable. Is it worth my pride? Is it?

He only pretends to be so zen, in actuality, he googled recurring fever with slight headache and got Kawasaki's syndrome and he was secretly losing his shit. Not so much that he was going to the pediatrician to be snorted at, though. That's my lot in life.

I called. Reluctantly. The nurse said I had to bring him in. Of course. There's not a damn thing wrong with him. Of course.

He was lethargic and feverish for FOUR days and damn it all if he didn't bounce into that office like he was a candidate for the healthiest kid in the world competition. Normal temperature. The universe has some kind of grudge against me. She asked me if he'd been eating.

"No, not really, he's been pretty off," I explained.
"I'd like eggs," chirped Gee, "and cookies."

Over my dead body. Would it kill you to look a little lethargic, just for a few more minutes? Please.

"I don't know," she said helpfully, "but in general, if the fever stays under 102 or so, we don't run additional tests, unless there's some other indication of a problem. If it spikes above that in the next few days, give us a call."

Sigh. Yet another delightful nugget of information that it would be oh-so-helpful to receive over the phone. There's been not one sign of a fever since that moment. Not one.

And yes, I would rather look like an idiot than have something actually be wrong with my child, but I can still bitch about it. Repeatedly, every six months or so. Thanks for listening.

*****************************************
Hey, also, (blush) thank you for playing the guessing game about the baby with me. It just made my pregnancy that so many of you were willing to get excited with me and play along. Special thanks to all of you who predicted a birthday before my due date, you know the way to an eight-month-pregnant girl's heart. I wish I could give you all hand-made blankets.

48 comments:

Kari said...

They all know me in our pediatrician's office, and I often wonder, is it just me - or are there more Moms that they automatically know. Thanks for the assurance that I am not alone!

Cheri said...

Just wanted to say, as a Registered Nurse, chances are that the "nurse" in your peds office is a Medical Assistent and doesn't know to say anything but "better bring them in!". Ugh. So frustrating. BTW, my kids were instantly cured of whatever as soon as I made an appointment so I could look stupid in the office too. They do it on purpose!

Maura said...

Cheri just answered the question I was going to ask, risking the wrath of the moms, so I'm grateful to her. :-)

That said, I've got nothing for you except my sympathies, because that would drive me nuts, too.

Gayle said...

I'm pretty sure the only thing a doctor's nurse can say is "bring them in immediately". Honestly. I don't do doctors anymore. I know, it may sound like I don't love the last two like the first three, but I have been through enough "false alarms" to know when to stick it out. As a rule we just don't do doctors for anything other than the emergency room I-think-I-broke-a-bone visit because they do try their hardest to make us feel stupid, don't they.

p/s Glad Gee is okay...hoping next time he rolls with it a little longer so you don't look so silly.

Marinka said...

I am laughing so much at this, because at my house, the role of Matt is played by me. And a few years ago, I diagnosed my daughter with Kawasaki syndrome, told Husbandrinka the bad news and was met with "why do you think she's a biker chick?"

And also, my daughter is allergic to amoxycillin. You may want to go to a real doctor, one that charges $35 or something, because my doctor, after testing for shrimp, etc said that it was amoxicillin and we've avoided that since.

I'm glad that everyone is fine. And I'm also glad that I'm not married to Matt. Because between the two of us, we'd have to just move into the doctor's office.

Joe said...

I'm very passive and tend to not worry about things, so Tyler's only been to the doctor for his ear infections (stupid.damn.infections.) and well-baby checkups. The co-pays for those visits alone are enough to make me want to switch to voodoo where I just chant shit and run an incense stick over his body to cure all evils that lurk within.

FrankandMary said...

I used to feel that way taking Dad to the doctor.
You let him do THAT?
You let him eat THAT?
He is still alive after all THAT?
No, they didn't say all THAT. It was my helpful critical inner voice interp.
~Mary

Mom24 said...

I have so been there. Now, my friends think I'm horrible because my kids have to run a fever for four days before I even think about taking them to the doctor. It's ALWAYS a virus, no medication necessary, and I lose two (at least) hours of my life and $65 to hear that. Also? I NEVER call the office anymore. They always say you have to bring them in RIGHT NOW.

At least I know others go through it.

Casey said...

I'm poking my daughter to see if her rash turns white as soon as she wakes up. Hers has been going on for about a month and the pedi isn't concerned at all so we're going to an allergist next week.

I hate calling the nurse line, it's like they have to tell you to come in no matter what or they're somehow liable. Jerks. Here's hoping there are no more fevers, snot or rashes in your future.

hokgardner said...

Reading this makes me extra grateful for our pediatrician and his nurse. The nurse, when I call for things like this, listens to me and then asks, "Do you want to bring her in? I think she's fine, but if it would make you feel better, we can see her at 2:00."

And the day that my son had his second medical emergency in SIX days, my pediatrician had us come in on his lunch hour to make sure we didn't need an ER visit and then didn't charge me for the visit.

Nissa said...

Yeah, Stace, what I would *definitely* do is call again in two days if he still has the fever... so that you can go BACK to be told "Eh. He's fine."

:)

for a different kind of girl said...

Amen! My kids could be zombies and I'll finally break downa and all the ped's office, and as soon as I get them carted, zombie-like, out ot the van and on the way, they perk up right inside the doctor's door, the siren call of stickers for a good appointment, the cure all!

I think we should be able to just email symptoms and/or photographs of the evidence to the doc's office, get an email diagnosis or scrip, and only be charged half our co-pay on days like that.

Because that's how much I hate going to the ped's!

Dana's Brain said...

I'm with FADKOG, I want to videotape them at home and then show that to the doctor.

I have definitely learned the same lesson over the years - most often it runs it's course and the doctor is not necessary. Although my pedi is always so damn busy, when I do call half the time they say I don't need to bring them in!

Nicole said...

I have paid a $30 copay to be told my 1 year old was teething!! Fever, ear pain, not sleeping, not taking a baba etc. I paid $30 to be told my 10 year old daughter's painful chest lump... cyst? tumor?? was actually growing breast tissue.

And the humiliation thing? It is a special pediatrician brand because I am an RN... with 15 years experience... I can tell if an adult is having a heart attack, if there lungs are filling with fluid, if they have a blood clot in their leg or lung, if they have a raging infection in their body... but I cannot diagnose teething!

Feeling your pain!
Nicole

April said...

whenever we walk into the peds office they say, oh, you again! UHG. hate it.

Sarah said...

I always ended up fighting with my daughters pediatrician so I finally began taking her to my general practice/family doctor. He is so much nicer and really listens to what I have to say. He also does not flip out when I tell him we are not doing a vaccine. I received an hour long lecture from the old pediatrician informing me that I was uneducated and a bad parent. I looked at him and said, "Really? Well I spent as much time earning my two degrees as you did earning your Medical degree so I think we will find someone that went to medical school in this century."
So at least they don't yell at you and make you sit there like a child while they tell you that you are stupid!

Christy said...

I hate taking ours to the dr too -- so I try try try not to go except for her shots. Doesn't always work though. Sigh.

ewe are here said...

luckily, I can't remember the last time I took either of my boys in to see the doctor for anything; they're abnormally healthy. But when I do, at least the NHS doesn't require co-pays. Those $30 copays can add up fast, especially when you KNOW the information could have been handled over the phone. Grrrr.

The Laughing Idiot said...

It is totally worth it to have it looked at. And even more so to push a doctor for a better explanation or further tests if you're not satisfied.

Last year, my youngest started limping (for no reason) on a Thursday. She went to the doctor on Friday and again on the following Monday. Both times the doctor told us she probably fell and bruised something so she was baby-ing it. When she spike a sudden fever of 105, they couldn't brush me off anymore.

Turns out she had a staph infection in her knee. She ended up in the OR and we stayed in the hospital for an entire week (try keeping a two year old basically immobilized for a week). Even when we brought her home, she had a pic-line so we could give her intraveinous antibiotics. The oral kind weren't strong enough to fight the infection. Had the infection spread beyond her knee, she likely would have died.

Ended up costing us well over $400 in co-pays including all the weekly follow ups - worth every penny!

blissfully caffeinated said...

Yes, yes and yes again. This is all so very familiar. Rashes, fevers, lethargy and I always end up feeling like an asshole as I walk out of the pediatrician's office.

Don't feel bad, we all do it.

Also, I saw you last post and wanted to tell you how great you look. I know you're probably miserbale but you look wonderful.

K said...

I hate the pediatrician's office too.

I never call them unless I really think there is something really wrong.

*Akilah Sakai* said...

I hear you, Stacey. I've had the kid go in all happy-go-lucky when they were awful at home. I've had the "it's nothing" diagnosis a zillion times. They're older now and thankfully, our pediatrician's Nurse Line is pretty good and hardly says to bring them in. They usually nail the issue on my call and I save the $30 co-pay.

Heather said...

I share your lot in life in this regard. Dang nurses.

Of course there are the few times that I do call the nurse and she says "oh it's probably nothing but if you want to bring your child in, go ahead (but I'll be talking about you as the paranoid mom as soon as I hang up if you do)" Then we get there and the kid has an ear infection or strep throat or something. Vindication, I tell you.

Bon said...

we spent the weekend with a baby with a fever of 103 and a (blanching) rash wondering whether to go to the ER (as nothing else is open on a Saturday night). it's no fun. i feel like a bad mom for not going, yet like a neurotic if i do go.

sometimes there is no winning. no winning, i say.

butwhymommy said...

The doctor's office is no fun. No matter how much you know, you just feel stupid there.

We've been lucky, after 6 visits for sinus infections (stupid daycare germs) in one year we didn't have any last year. Now if you will excuse me I have to go knock on wood and hop on one foot in a circle so as not to jinx myself.

Pamela said...

ugh. i'm taking the 2mo baby in today because his breathing is all raspy...in the hopes that he knocks it off while were driving there and is suddenly, miraculously, healed.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

It's such a thin line... but it sounds like you know exactly when to cross it and when to tell it to just go to hell!

You are smart - watching other signs besides just fever. I never seem to know an exact number for the nurse when I call, but I can say, "YES she has a fever" or "NO she doesn't" But I can also say if she's lethargic or having same eating habits or sleeping habits or balance or smelly poop or number of diapers/bathroom visits, etc. I totally understand not wanting to go to the doc over every little thing, considering it's $30 and considering they make you feel stupid.

Could you go to one of those nurse practitioner clinics at CVS or Walgreens?

I agree - better to be safe than sorry, but if your child is only presenting with a fever and nothing else, that could be ANYTHING! Teething, beginning of a cold, ear infection, etc.

I just think you should find a new doc.

Rachel said...

I have the same dread about taking one of the kids in. I hate it, but I usually DO feel better afterwards knowing it's NOTHING.

Hope everyone stays healthy for a while!

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said...

I'm new around here, but I just read your Costco post and oh man, my heart goes out to you. In a former life a million years ago, I was a nanny for a family with three little boys. People asked so many stupid questions of me, and it always made me respect their mom a little more for having to put up with it more often than I ever did.

bernthis said...

I actually love my pediatrician. I get that same shit from my PT and my ortho.

debbie said...

Just have to tell you that this is my new favorite blog! I think you're an excellent writer and your posts hit home (I identify with much of what you're going through--I'm a 36 year old former attorney now stay at home mom, moved from big city to the country two years ago, really wanting a mud room).

So, back to this post...can you find a new doctor? I think it's important to have a doctor who doesn't make you feel stupid, no matter what or how many times you call or visit. I know that doctors like that exist...we had a wonderful pedi back in Houston, and her nurse answered questions and didn't always say to come in. I still miss those women!

PletcherFamily said...

Okay - as an RN I am upset with your dealings! I am almost 100% sure that is NOT a nurse on the other end but a medical assistant. I don't know many rich doctors who hire expensive RNs to answer calls. Next time, just call me or email me. Seriously. I have been a pediatric nurse for 12 years - I can help ya. :) (maybe save you some money!!!) :) I am sorry your kiddo is sick and I am glad to hear that it is nothing serious.

Michelle said...

Hey, as long as I'm getting a handmade blanket, it's all good ;)

And I think we've ALL been there with those visits. Although I must admit that there has been a time or two that even the nurse has told me not to bring the child in.

But now that you bring the point about the lattes... I may be less willing to call in the future ;)

Jenni said...

I'm so with you on this. there is one particular doc at our peds office that we seem to ALWAYS get on sick visits and she's such a major asshole I've blogged about her on two seperate occasions.

also, it's been fever central around here as well. when i called our ped office, the nurse told me there is a febrile virus going around and actually didn't make me go in, just said to monitor the baby at home and call later in the day w/an update, or if i though things were going downhill (we never went in).

mommygeekology said...

I would totally call that nurse out to the doc and be like -- where did she go to school? Seriously?

Argh.

Zip n Tizzy said...

Sucks! And yes you can bitch about it.
What also drives me crazy, which I know you understand, being on your 3rd pregnancy, is when you go to the hospital after having contractions for 7 hours and the moment they hook you up to the machine the contractions stop! And the doc looks at you and says, "Women always think they're in pain, but you'll know when it's the REAL thing."
And you're all, "Lady, I know I'm not having contractions NOW. I have done this before!"
But you're right, better safe than sorry. If they want real emergencies, they should transfer to the ER.

Connie Weiss said...

We must both be cursed because the same shit happens to me!

My husband is also a hypochondriac and goes to the doctor for every little thing. My favorite is when he went to the doctor for a pain in his side (allegedly his appendix) and it turned out he pulled a muscle when we were having sex!

Luckily...my darling sister is a Medical Assistant with 12 years of experience and when the kids have a problem I call her and she tells me if we should waste $20 or not. I can give you her number...

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I am so thankful that we haven't had any major issues lately (KNOCKING ON WOOD HOLY SHIT SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN NOW!). Also, my husband isn't usually observant of things like a fever or puking. Usually, I'm telling him about it the next day and he goes, "Oh yeah... How is he/she doing now?"

Nice.

Debbie said...

It happens to me too. And you feel so silly for going in.

imbeingheldhostage said...

I don't think my kids have EVER actually walked into a doctor's office and stayed sick like they were supposed to, so I was really empathizing with you on this one.
Glad no one's requiring hospitalization (especially Matt for putting you through that);-)

LifeAtTheCircus.com said...

You are so not alone on this one. I too hate that feeling. One day I called to ask the nurse a question about my daughter's nebulizer. Called later to set up an appt. Had to call back b/c kids were screaming and the receptionist couldn't hear me. Called a fourth time to cancel appt b/c after nap kid was running around in backyard like normal. Spend the entire night up with 2 very sick kids beating myself up for canceling said appt and then called first thing next morning to make another appt. And I kid you not, they recognized my voice on the phone and greeted me by name.

Amie said...

I don't think I've commented before but I really love reading what you write....this post i can really relate to. It seems every time something in wrong with my daughter, it always on a Sunday afternoon when my dr's office is called so I call the health link/nurses line. After my first call to the nurses line I said never again...I also said never again after the second but so far I've been lured into calling that number 3 times. Every time it's the same, a bunch of questions then "Well I have to tell you to take her to a Dr today" to which I respond, "Yes but I can't, it's Sunday afternoon, the Dr's isn't open"
Nurse:"well Take her to the walk in"
Me:"Well I would but I can't get there till tomorrow, I live on an island, by the time I get to the main island it'll be closed"
Nurse" Well I need you to tell me you'll get her to a GP today"
me: "How?"
Nurse: "There must be a Dr on your island"
me:" no there isn't but I can take her tomorrow"
Nurse:"I need to write here you'll take her today"

It basically goes NO WHERE and then every time (because I guess they follow a script) they end the conversation asking me if my child could have been abused, if she has been out of my care at all and if her crying makes me feel like I might hurt her? I understand they have to ask these questions but I hate it.

Amie

Elle said...

OHHH - I hate the doctor merry go round - I do the same routine -

except lately I will head in with a complaint - the doc says nothing- then she gets way worse and the doc says

"oops I guess I missed it, it didn't show up because ...."
"I think you came in too soon last time so it didn't show up"

ok - doc is still making me feel like somehow the error is on my part and I get to pay two copays for sixty dollars for this advanced version of the game -

incredible - cute post

Erin said...

I swear my daughters BOTH immediately break their fevers as SOON as we walk in the door of the doctor's office. I can document 103+ degree fevers at home for a WEEK (ok, not really) and as soon as we get to the doctor's office, they'll do the underarm check and get 99. And I'm all "but it was 102.8 this morning" and they look at me like "sure, psycho".

I've experienced the same inconsistency between the nurse on the phone and the doctor in the room. I have finally started using the logic that if it is bad enough for me to consider calling, it's bad enough for me to just go see the doctor. Fortunately, my doctor is awesome (NO condescension) and usually my instincts are right.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

If those people in the pediatric office call me mom one more time, I'm not responsible for what happens.

Christy said...

I don't think I have laughed so hard in a long time until I have been reading your posts. Keep the humor coming, those of us sitting in the pediatrician's office at the moment need it!

Shiarna said...

I must be very lucky because at our pediatrician's office they will actually have the doctor call you back. You can rattle off all the symptoms and sometimes they don't say that they need to see your kid right away.

On the other end of the spectrum though, at least your pediatrician doesn't try to bully you into doing what they think is right. Nothing like a graphic photo or two from a medical journal to make you question yourself.

Brenda Brokamp said...

I'm an RN in a Peds office. Kids try to "fake us out" all the time. They frequently miraculously recover just by crossing our doorstep, so don't worry about looking stupid. Just report what's been going on. I validate parents & tell them that kids pull that monkey business. (I have five kids) In our office, I also take calls, get ALL info, consult w/doc to determine if we need to see kid. You do need to realize that we just want child to be safe. We're a small office, our doctors could care less about $, but shellfish x2 & rash can be worrisome. You sound competent, as long as you're nearby & felt comfortable, I would've consulted w/doc & had you come if any changes. Like another poster said, the "nurse" may not be an RN, her job is probably just to make appts. From now on, tell her you want to talk to the doctor, or at least have her consult w/him first. One more thing, if you feel invalidated or humiliated after leaving, FIND A NEW ONE. That's not acceptable. They are there to hold your hand & support you through your parenting years, what you're going through is NOT ok. You sound very cool, and I would enjoy you as a parent, they seem to be treating you like an imbecile.