Saturday, May 23, 2009

Cusp

I wake in the still, warm night to an odd feeling , a soft, repetitive jolt. Gradually, sleep clears and I realize it's inside of me. The baby has the hiccups.

Everything about this spring feels like an edge. Ess and Gee, grown so tall and solid and confident, are on the verge of being children. I can barely see the toddlers of last fall, the babies in diapers that I changed and guided and nurtured. It's as if they wrapped themselves in a cocoon while I wasn't watching and now they are bursting out, so colorful and adept and different that I am left searching the ground for my snuggly, furry caterpillars.

The unborn baby is on the verge too, testing tiny swallowing reflexes, practicing breath, readying for the transition from water to air.

At my feet, I sense my own edge, a crumbling cliff side towards which I move ever closer with reluctant, shuffling steps.

For a moment, I rest. I sit down here, in the sun, in the midst of early summer's flowers and let the warmth of now soak my face and bones and round belly. That edge is coming, but not yet, I have now. In the fall, I'll be a preschool mom with a newborn. Such a different thing from a first time mom with a tiny child. The baby is a fact, not a center, a satellite, not the sun. People won't pause to tell me how darling he or she is, they'll smile and say "my you're busy." This little one will grow to a year, babble and coo, smile, roll over, crawl, and stand without the white hot spotlight of a new family, in the quiet shade of our little forest.

We walk on, the "big kids" running and rolling and jumping, beyond my ability to protect from falls and scrapes and bumps. I only patch and kiss. Cue struggles desperately to keep up, reaching for my hand to help him, still unsteady on the slopes. In the distance, the drop off looms. The view is gorgeous from here on this little peak, back over my new motherhood, my time with all toddlers, my time as a pregnant woman, forward to unknown valleys, distance mountains, hidden vistas.

Surveying the landscape from a distance, I am aware that this cliff I dread might not be such a huge obstacle after all, just a little change in terrain, a slight scar in the landscape. It might require nothing more than for Matt to take my hand and help me down, lift the front of the stroller. The path continues on, even in spots, climbing, cresting other peaks. From college graduation, I'll wager that the end of pregnancy and new motherhood looks like a two-foot drop.

Lilacs are in the air. My babies run. The stroller is heavy, even empty. My uterus tightens in regular intervals. I don't register each contraction, only an oddness, a discomfort. With focus, I find the muscle taunt and hard, the baby within frozen in anticipation, preparing, practicing. In the same way that Ess and Gee throw tantrums, yell and stomp, punish and forgive, flash anger, forging new brain pathways for the future, practicing for challenges that I can't see, preparing for escapades to which I will receive no invitation.

I'll just hand them a handkerchief, like maidens of old, and whisper, remember me, return some day.

In the night, I wrap my arms around my belly to better feel the soft movements.

Stay, I wish, stay with me like this.

But, that's not really my heart's desire. I mean only this night, this time, let me feel you and hold you so that I can have this to remember. My true prayer is the same as every mother's prayer, shouted to the stars, whispered to the hummingbirds, the prayer that reverberates through bodies and hearts and minds when we press our soles to the ground and turn our faces to the sun - change, evolve, grow, develop.

It's the prayer of the universe, in my mind, the thing that runs through that force that some call Buddha and some call Allah and some call God. The united yearning of trillions of mothers and trillions of fathers bound together into a universal power - a life force - roll, crawl, walk, run, leap, dance, swim.

Fly
.

Before you know it, before I know it, before any of us knows it, the prayer is answered and we are left behind.

As it should be.

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pure poetry.

~Anne

Hit 40 said...

Beautiful!

Pregnancy is wonderful.

Sandi said...

I always know I am going to cry and when I come here, so why do I never sit down at your place with a Kleenex?

You are the most beautiful writer! Hang on for the biggest ride of your life. I can't begin to tell you how fast it goes. I want to freeze today forever. Let Bronson still be a Senior in High School and let Ellie still be 8 months old. I have twelve in between at an age today I would call "the perfect one". Next week one will be on his way to college and the second in line is a mere 13 months behind him. I want to freeze it all right now. Right here. Let them all just stay right here. But I agree with you, I pray for growth and happiness that only day by day brings. Damn time! Damn Damn Damn!

Vodka Mom said...

that was incredible.......

the hiccup feeling?? I remember it like it was yesterday. sigh.

Mom24 said...

As it should be, yes, but still odd at times, at times disconcerting. I have a hard time believing my baby's 25, when it doesn't seem that long ago he was reaching for my hand.

Enjoy, hang on to what you can, it really does fly by.

msprimadonna67 said...

Again, a beautifully moving post. I can't begin to express how I long to be embarking once again upon the journey you are about to begin again. But I adore every single one of the phases and transitions and new beginnings that each of my children have embraced. The good news is, that our children are amazingly adept at transitioning to each new milestone they encounter (even when we are not). The not-always-so-good news is that we will continue to watch from the sidelines holding our breath; the cusp they (and we along with them) are on is perpetual and ever-changing. There are always new universes to explore.

Heather said...

I understand this feeling of wanting to savor every moment almost to the point of willing time to stop, but also not wanting time to stop because we know there is so much good stuff ahead.

And the hiccups in utero? Loved that when my kids had them. It was such a weird feeling, but also a reassuring one.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I remember the hiccups. And now more than ever, I so understand the fervent wish for our children to grow and develop. To run away from us. To not look back. To not need us forever. No matter how much we hate to see them go.

Anna See said...

Beautiful! You are exactly right-- as it should be-- but it's happening so fast, it seems.

One of mine was a hiccup-er, the other a boxer.

Michelle said...

I love reading your posts... they're so elegant and peaceful. You've almost talked me into wanting a third baby.

Christy said...

Lovely friend. Lovely.

feefifoto said...

I couldn't devote full attention to this post because if I had, I'd be sobbing for the next week. My son just turned 12 two days ago and I held it together admirably, I think. The year he turned five and graduated from preschool all in the same week, I couldn't stop crying. There was something so profoundly poignant about his growing up that I couldn't put my finger on, but couldn't stop dwelling on either.

Since you have older kids, you already know that it gets better and better, which in a small way makes up for the loss of those cuddly times.

Your writing is eloquent. Your kids are lucky.

merlotmom said...

That was beautiful. You will manage the new terrain just fine. Just like you have all the new terrain before this. Take a breath. Enjoy.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

I loved reading this. Truly.

Alexicographer said...

I'm living through a lot of this with my first (and likely last, but not by my choice) at 2 and a bit. Thanks for writing about it; it's good to know I'm not alone.

Maggie May said...

You write so beautifully. 'Cusp' is the perfect name for this post, this moment,and I completely relate.

jen said...

silly memories ... but ... memories (of mine) nonetheless.
stella was a hiccuper inside ... and never outside.
cora never hiccuped on the inside ... but hiccups all. the. time. out here.
thanks for reminding me of that memory.
i really can't wait to be in your place that you are right now ... again ... someday.
but for now ... i'm good.
it is what it is.

Mary Bullock said...

Oh My! My children are all grown and married - but I remember everything. I am crying as I type this - your words are so beautiful - thank you.

Holly said...

So true! Beautiful!

Rachel said...

The cusps are the most exciting times! And I miss those hiccups already..

Mommy Mo said...

OH yes, they do grow and develop right before our eyes. My baby, my last child, will be 8 months old tomorrow and while I am thrilled that he is doing all things that an 8 month old should do, I am also sad.

Dana's Brain said...

Oh, you've made me cry at work...again! That's okay though. It's always a good kind of cry.

You write so beautifully and so accurately about those Mom feelings.

Issas Crazy World said...

I thought it I waited until morning, I could say something better than, beautiful post. But I can't, because it's still true. Reading your posts is like reading poetry sometimes.

Just remember, even when they are big, they still need you. Differently, yes, but the need is still there.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

This is one of the most beautiful, well written posts I have ever read. Well done.

*Akilah Sakai* said...

I swear, reading you causes flower petals to materialize and drift slowly to the ground around me. I swear it! It's just magical.

maggie, dammit said...

Gorgeous, babe.

Zip n Tizzy said...

We had a friend mistake Z for a tag along child last night. He couldn't believe that this kid with us was the baby he'd seen just a few months back.

Life just keeps on moving us forward. I'm glad your enjoying these last months of pregnancy.

I'll never forget the first time I felt those hiccups. They're truly remarkable.

S said...

How beautiful. and Yes, that is how it should be. However, as my youngest graduates high school next week and heads off to college in the fall.. it is hard. :)

Connie Weiss said...

I had a feeling when I saw this post in my reader that I needed to save it for a quiet moment. I'm so glad that I did.

Every single day...I am amazed that these children are growing so fast. I shake my head because I just can't believe it.

Manic Mommy said...

From the hindsight of six and a half years, that gulf still looks like the Grand Canyon to me.

The wise people, the insightful ones will still ooh and ahh at your beautiful new baby. And the brothers and sister who precede her.

Oh, the hiccups, the in utero aerobics, even the chin ups on my ribs! I miss every one of them (the ribs less so).

Jennifer H said...

Your writing, this, takes my breath away.

Summer said...

You are one of the great writer i've known in blogger world.=) And i always love reading your posts,even if i am not a mom or a lady.But i still read it,so i can also understand my moms feeling and wants for us,her children.=) And you just inspired us to love our parents,specially you our special woman in our life..=) And i really thank you for that.=)

A Writers Den
The Brown Mestizo

Solo said...

Beautiful.Love this story.Hope to see more from you.Just continue writing,you are so intelligent..;D

Travel and Living

For Myself said...

Oh wow. Go but Stay! Hurry up but Wait for me! Freeze but Change!

It's the positive and negative magnetic forces of humanity.

Loved this. Absolutely loved it.

Jeanne said...

And this is why I come here....

butwhymommy said...

Beautiful, just beautiful.

Yo said...

your writing gives me lumps in my throat. i saw this post in my reader and i've been saving it to read when i had a moment to really absorb.

i'm glad i did.

beautiful.

me in the pink said...

Loved it. I thought I was the only one who missed my babies when they weren't in my uterus anymore . . . I miss that - being pregnant.

the mama bird diaries said...

Just a beautiful, beautiful post. Just lovely.

Maura said...

It's good to stop and enjoy and appreciate what is as you anticipate and look forward to what will be.

Casey said...

You always give me goosebumps and make me shed my tough guy exterior. I loved this post but I love all of your posts. Now I sound like a crazy stalker lady who might camp outside of your house. Rest assured, I'm good with two kids and some days those two are too much.

MoziEsmé said...

What a beautiful post... Letting them grow and go is so bittersweet.

Jill said...

It's so nice to read about someone truly enjoying their pregnancy... their kids... their life.

Your writing is so beautiful - it always makes me think.

Looking forward to your newest arrival!

The Panic Room said...

I can never read your posts if it is loud or chaotic or if I'm in a hurry, so I always come back to them late when I have the quiet time. They are just so perfect and I don't want anything to crash the experience of reading you. So awesome.

K said...

Beautiful post.

Enjoy these last few weeks.

Elle said...

love it
great thoughts!

Babe in Babeland said...

You are beautiful...Your writing, your spirit, your thoughtfulness, your grace. Thank you!

Kari said...

Gorgeous.

Sometimes I close my eyes and try to remember what it felt like to hold my babies inside my body.

Shannon said...

I sent this to my sister who is due in August. Her reply.

"You made me cry, bitch"

I am pretty sure that the bitch is me and not you. You look lovely by the way!

mommygeekology said...

I wish I could take parts of this and put them into a word mosaic and hang it on my wall, so I can forever remember how perfect it is.

Thanks for your writing. It always makes me feel so.... honorable. Strong. Important. It perfectly captures the essence of motherhood.