I would walk five hundred miles.
(Actually, I probably couldn't possibly, since my twenty-nine-week self puffs and heaves carrying Cue up a flight of stairs, but I'd try.)
I'm walking for Maddie. Spokane for Maddie is an official March of Dimes walking team. Wait, let me take it one farther, I am pushing my horrendously huge triple stroller three miles for Maddie. With some friends. And some coffee.
If you live near by and you'd like to join us, we'd love it. If you're a blogger, you've probably already donated to the March of Dimes this month in honor of Maddie, so ignore this part. This is specifically targeted at my family and non-blogging friends: You read, you don't comment, you owe me five dollars. (If you want. TRIPLE stroller. Just click ... here.)
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I'm shameless, when it comes to loving you.
While you are doing annoying things for me, Ann's Rants nominated me for a Blogger's Choice Award. Which is not at all annoying, I was shocked and then pleased as anything. You can vote for me by clicking on that link over there to the right.
MOM.
Yes, you have to register and give them your email. It will take you two seconds. Do it for your grandchildren. So that they can say they are the children of a mother who, while she didn't win best parenting blog, got more than three votes, one of them being her own.
(That's legal. McCain and Obama both did it. Democracy in action.)
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I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.
Last thing. Mailing a leaf is illegal. Gee did it, not me. I might have helped. Okay, it was my idea, but he was the one who actually mailed the thing. I only leaf aided and abetted. We might have conspired. Damn, that makes me responsible, as a member of the conspiracy, for all acts commitment by my co-conspirators in furtherance of the conspiracy. Thank you, Professor Groot.
My defense is temper-tantrum insanity. That's like temporary insanity, only louder. We walked all the way to the mailboxes - it's like 1.5 miles (hello, MoD is double that) - the other day and when we arrived, I realized that I had only two letters to mail, but, as usual, I had three children in my possession. Trauma. Cue used to be so bump-on-a-log-ish. I still sometimes forget to factor him into the equation despite the fact that he's been going howler monkey on my ass for MONTHS when he doesn't get to do exactly what the big kids are doing, thankyouverymuch.
I picked up a huge maple leaf and I let Ess and Cue mail the letters and then I told Gee that it was a very important leaf that needed to get to Grandma as soon as possible. He bought that tripe. All happy, disastrous screaming fit all the way home avoided. Only, I failed to notice the gigantic mail truck parked behind us and the federal postal worker watching our leaf mailing ceremony.
I hoped he'd missed it, but it's hard miss a red-headed kid in a triple stroller shrieking, "MAIL THE LEAF TO GRANDMA????" He informed me that placing non-mail objects in a postal box was a federal offense. He used a pretty nice voice, so I'm going to guess he was half-way kidding. I tried to high-tail it out of there, but we had to go up hill and my iron is low. I'm constantly out of breath. It was more like snail-trailing it out of there.
Leaves must blow into the mail boxes every once in a while? No one blames the wind. If you get a leaf in your mailbox, it's from us.
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Sugar, awww, honey, honey
I gave up chai tea lattes last week in a desperate attempt to pass my one-hour glucose test this Tuesday. Basically, my world is dark and gray and I am horrendously unpleasant until my lack-of-caffeine headache clears in the afternoon. The test was Tuesday and I have heard nothing from my midwife, which I took as a clear sign that I could have a huge chai tea yesterday.
I'm just trying to cram them in, honestly. I'm sure I failed with flying sugars as usual and I consider every day until she calls to freak me out about the MASSIVE baby I'll be delivering in June/July a free chai tea pass. Cross your fingers for me? Even the losers get lucky sometimes.
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Five points for the title and artist of each song quoted in this less-than-stellar collection of thought snippets!
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51 comments:
Enjoy the walk, 'tis a beautful thing to do.
Ha! You and the kids will have WANTED posters at the post office.
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The Proclaimers
"500 Miles"
Garth Brooks
"Shameless"
Eric Clapton (or Bob Marley)
"I Shot The Sheriff"
Wilson Pickett
"Sugar, Sugar"
The Proclaimers sang 500 Miles.Garth Brooks sang Shameless. Bob Marley sang I Shot the Sheriff (and now that song is so stuck in my head, thank you very much).Pickett Wilson sang Sugar, Sugar.
Enjoy your Chai Tea Lattes this weekend!
Are you in or near Spokane? My husband grew up there - he's a University High alum. Well, the OLD University High building, not the fancy one they now have.
And congrats on the nomination. Of course I voted.
Dude. I delivered a 10 pound one ouncer. I am not a large woman. I did not have a c-section.
YOU CAN DO IT!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TEAM!
I DID have the epidural. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
i'm still impressed by the triple stroller :-D
fingers crossed you won't have to do the fasting 3 hour glucose!!!
I voted...you are definitely my favorite parenting blog.
Good luck with the glucose test. No fun. There's actually a doctor in my doctor's practice who does it with jelly beans. I guess that would be better than the orange stuff.
Take care.
The one freaking contest I could have won, and I'm late to the party. FAIL.
So, my favorite line from this post? "My defense is temper-tantrum insanity. That's like temporary insanity, only louder." I want to put that on a Tshirt and wear it every.damn.day.
I totally voted for you, because you are my absolute favorite 100% bestest blogger, and I'm not just saying that because you're pregnant and off sugar.
First..now that "I would walk 500 miles" song is so stuck in my head.
Second I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you that you get those chai tea lattes back. They are also my greatest weakness!
you're a hero for walking that 3 miles. Go slow. Good luck. And of course I am on my way to vote.
We get leaves in our mailbox all the time...now I kno who they are frop! Congratulations on your nomination for the award...hope your mom votes for you too :)
And I would walk five hundred more.... Dang it, I knew all of those, but I'm too late. Oh well.
Funny story, My brother thought that the lyrics to I shot the Sheriff, were actually, I jot the Jerrit. He was convinced of that until he was 14 years old and some girlfriend made fun of him.
Good for you for walking on a MOD walk. Seriously I wish I could be there.
Dude, that mail guy had to be screwing with you. A leaf? Weirdo. If I get a leaf in the mail, I will be thrilled.
Someone once mailed me a coconut. Wrote my name and address right on that sucker, slapped some stamps on and dropped it right in the box with a thud. Take THAT, Mr. Postman. ("Please, please Mr. Postman" who was it? Five points for your very own self if you know it...) Leaf Shmleaf.
I think temepr-tantrum insanity sounds like a perfect defense.
Any parent would understand that. I suffer from it myself most days. Good luck in the walk--I have a double jogging stroller so I know how heavy that must be (I go at a snail's pace with two and I am not even pregnant)
I am super impressed with you walking and pushing that stroller. I once added up how much extra weight I was pushing when I went "running" pushing my kids in the bike-trailer/stroller, and my scientific calculations concluded that a two mile walk was worth at least three in terms of calories burned. You are probably not only low on iron; you're low on calories. Would you like me to send that cupcake now? :)
All I'm wondering now, is, do they make a quadruple stroller?
'Cause I'm guessing you'd need more than a chai tea latte to push THAT thing up a hill.
I totally would have mailed a leaf to avoid the "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" tantrum. I spend my entire life dividing things into three pieces, but oh so much more important, three EQUAL pieces.
Good luck with the glucose test. I failed once and it was not so much fun. I did deliver 10 pounds of baby. It was just 10 pounds of baby split between two babies. Much easier.
I hated the whole glucose test thing. The second one was way worse than the first. 15 hours without food and then the other half decided to wait until after the test to decide where to go to eat. I passed out on the 15 minute drive to the restaurant.
While waiting for the results I ate huge cream cheese icing slathered cinnamon buns every day, I figured that the time between the test and the results was all free. My daughter was 7lb 5oz
Dealing with gestational diabetes sucked big time, it took all the fun out of being pregnant... well that and dislocating one of my ribs in the first trimester and not getting it fixed until after the baby came, being misdiagnosed for preclampsia (I had it; the Dr said I was fine) and the massive acid reflux I suffered all the way through... come to think of it I didn't seem to have the best pregnancy
I can't imagine going through that with three little ones to raise. If I haven't mentioned it before; You Rock
Akilah sweeps the board - that's five, ten, fifteen, twenty points.
Although, Wilson Pickett covered Sugar, Sugar, anyone know the original 'band'?
Christy, you were so close - five points to put you on the board.
@Tonggu Momma - Yes, right in Spokane!
@ForMyself - The Carpenters I knew, but I looked it up and the original artists were The Marvelettes?! Five points to me.
MommyTime - I never turn down a cupcake.
Andrea - They do. We've been considering. I'll have to post a picture, it's hilarious.
@Kirsten and @TMCphoto. Ugh. That three-hour test is pure hell. I threw up and passed out last when I had to take it with Cue. But, just found out I'm good. No GD, although, I'll probably go easy on the chais, to avoid the whole HUGE newborn thing.
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Thank you so much for the votes and your awesome encouragement.
Really sorry about the songs in your heads.
I PASSED! I got the little card today. Thank you, universe. I had to take the three-hour test with Cue and I was planning to refuse it this time and just give up sugar and be grumpy.
For #2 I had to do the 3 hour test, but thankfully for this one I only had to do the one hour test. Only the drink I had in India was warm and disgusting... and they insisted on staying in the room to watch me drink it. WTF?
Walking 3 miles? Whoa lady - I'm impressed! I think I've walked a total of 3 miles in the past month... let alone 1 single day. You rock!
And I now go for twice weekly non-stress tests and I bring in a large Starbucks drink every time. I don't even bother hiding the fact that I'm a caffeine junkie... I gave up wine - don't make me give up all my vices!
First of all, no one told you "500 Miles" was in my favorite movie... Benny & Joon (that's the most important thing about that song). And secondly, have we had a conversation about where you live 'cause I'm all kinds of mental raising five kids on no sleep and I think I would have remember taht, but I don't. Anywho...I went to EWU for five years and my dad's family is from Chewelah. I LOVE Spokane and wish I never would have left. If I wasn't already here, I'd be there. My dear friend Cristi is there and I miss her so much. Is it Blooms Day? I walked in that once with a client from Medical Lake where I worked while in college. That was a long walk. Oh, I'm rambling. Must be late. My mailman is hostile. He would have shot me over a leaf!
Really? When it comes down to pushing a kid out, does it hurt that much more to have a 9 pound child instead of a 5 pounder?
I can say this as I have had 2 boys that were 7 and 8 pounds and my daughter was 9'5" 21 1/2 inches. Honestly? They ALL hurt. I'm thinking that head circumference may have a bigger impact on the pain and difficulty in delivery, though!
And the federal offense was totally worth the deflected tantrum. Nice quick thinking!
I'm doing the MoD walk with Beth, though our walk is 6 miles, and I'm wondering how my pregnant, sciatica-ridden self is going to make SIX miles. I may need someone to push me in a stroller toward the end.
I am crossing my fingers that you passed with flying colors and can happily drink chai tea for the rest of your pregnancy. I know I missed it when I skipped out on the day of my test!
Three things.
One. I love the "temper-tantrum insanity" and I plan to use that line at school. In defense of the kids. The ones who throw the most temper tantrums.
Two. I just voted for you.
Three. You are an awesome mother!
Your last line is taken from the Tom Petty song "Even the Losers." Do I get points for recognizing that one!!
No pregnant woman should ever have to give up sugar. Or smoking crack. And sniffing airplane glue.
*fingers crossed* that you don't have to forgo the Chai.
The tantrums...oh the tantrums. I'm this close to having one of my own....
Have a great weekend!
Wow a triple stroller. And pregnant. that must be fun. :)
I donated to Maddie for your team! Wish we lived closer!
As usual, way too late for the trivia :)
You have way more energy and stamina that I do! I wouldn't push my double stroller up a hill to witness the boiling of the sap here, which I now regret after watching a lady with a cane and 3 young boys walk down the hill...
Ugh, I had my glucose test this week too... of course this pregnancy I have been on the sugar 24/7! I ate 3 grand cinnamon rolls this am!! Baby loved it!! But I'm paying for it now. I haven't heard anything yet, so assuming all was well, which is pretty incredible considering the amounts of sugar I've been consuming at 1am, 3am, and 5am when I wake up to pee! ;)
Looking through your comments - amazed that no one said "sugar sugar" was the Beatles! I never knew or heard of the Wilson Pickett version.
Mike - Nice. I thought everyone would miss that one. You're on the board.
Pletcher family - thank you so much.
kmommy - may you pass and never have to take the horrible three hour version.
Caroline - I did give up airplane glue, but only because I ran out.
Woohoo!! Thanks!
I got interested in who the original band was.
Was it The Archies around 1969?
It was also covered loads of times, including by Tom Jones and Bob Marley.
Isn't life with a toddler silly? When else would ever get lectured for putting a leaf in a mail box.
Enjoy your chai teas. They are one of my personal downfalls as well.
Love the song titles!
There's some magazine we get where people mail all sorts of things to them. It's amazing what you can drop in a box.
Hello, The Archies! A staple on any "favorites" playlist I've ever made. Although, I must say, Taj Mahal's version is my preferred one...ohhh, Taj. Makes me shiver in my bones, that sugar voice.
I don't understand how you can ask people to vote for you when you just admitted to being accessory to a leafing.
Oh, and I love how you're upstaging everyone.
"You're doing the March for Babies? Yeah, me too. Of course, I'll be pushing a stroller with three kids in them (hey, kids, ever heard of WALKING? What, are they like Maddox Jolie Pitt, whose feet didn't hit the ground until he was six) and I'm also forty months pregnant."
;)
Good vibes to you for your test :)
Okay - your blog stalker friend just voted for you! Even if I don't comment everyday (um, or any day) I love your blog and you are awesome! Best of luck with the contest!
M
I am totally voting for you!!!
xox
A federal offense? That seems a little harsh for a leaf.
Wow. Remind me to never mail a leaf!
(Also I gave you an award yesterday...please come see!)
My fingers, they're a'crossin.
I'm glad you're doing the walk for Maddie. I donated money but it somehow doesn't feel like enough.
Our mailbox does get leaves in it but none have ever had postage on them. Hmm...
I hated taking the glucose test. I especially hated the 3 hour glucose test Ugh. I hope your test goes well.
Will you be getting a quad stroller? My babies are 16 months apart and I'm wondering if there will be a third. Right now, I'll keep reading to see how you do it.
You make me giggle. I won't even try at the titles considering DAYS and days behind in my blog reading.
He really gave you grief about a toddler mailing a leaf? Wow. I'm guessing he doesn't have kids of his own. Just a thought.
And the rest was all very funny but I'm tired and really should go to bed. Still two days behind in my blog reading :)
Your posts are great! Sorry you had to give up the chai tea lattes. :-( Soon you'll get to reclaim them!!!
I would like to point out that "Shameless" is actually by Billy Joel, not Garth Brooks. Joel wrote it & recorded it (on "Storm Front"). I think Brooks' version may be more well-known, but Joel's was better. :-)
Loved the leaf story, of course.
Oh, and I skipped ahead and didn't read the part about not donating. Oops. ;-)
SO, so funny. The songs, oh he songs. I can hear each one in my head, well minus the 2nd one. I could even sing them. Though massive brain fail when I try to remember (did I ever even know?) the artist.
I love the song titles! I've got to try that one day with a post or two.
Also, I didn't know it was illegal to send a leaf? That's so funny.
And good luck with the walk (it's such a great cause) and the no caffeine. :)
best of luck for the walk! You are really brave!
Nevermind totally getting my ass kicked in trivia by every other commenter because I'm always the last to comment...what I want to know is how long it takes you to come up with all this trivia and why I wasn't ever that clever when I was pregnant. I swear, all the oxygen left my brain and went directly to my belly. (My excuse now is that it's still there.)
Can I just say, amen to the temper tantrum insanity!!! That be a defense in most states!! Is it okay if I use that term? I find it a ridiculously accurate account for my days lately!!
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