Seconds (and Thirds), Please

I'm very new in blogworld, still kind of feeling my way around. But, there's a virtual shower this weekend being held for three founding mothers of the blogging with kids set. Since their blogs are really fun and friends keep asking me whose blogs I spend all my nap time reading, I thought I'd join in. You get the links to their blogs and I get to give advice on having a second child (cause I'm the expert after being a mom to three for all of nine months). Win, win! And (bonus) I have a chance to win a cool prize. I won't win a cool prize because I never win anything, but I have a chance, which will amuse me until the actual prizewinners are announced.

Problem being, I'm not all that into advice because it's for sucks a lot of the time. But, in contemplating my mommyness to two and then three wee ones, I did realize that I've had quite an attitude shift since that first year when I only had Gee, back when I was able to maintain the illusion that I could keep things marginally together and relatively clean.

So, I put together a little list. It's a list of things that you might find yourself saying after your second child. Not so much advice, as kind of an advance warning or 'heads up.' Things that I have said that have maybe shocked some of the moms to just one child that I know. I am in no way implying that any of these incredible moms will stoop to my level, but, if they do hear something come out of their mouths in the next few months and cringe, it's okay. They can take comfort in the fact that I've said worse:

10) Can you please go and watch Clifford, I don't want to talk to you right now.
9) Go in your diaper, I'm feeding the baby.
8) Want to watch another movie??
7) Who opened the front door? ROLL CALL!!!
6) Where are your pants?
5) If you continue to whine like that my eardrums will explode and I won't be able to be your servant anymore.
4) If you are going to make each other cry, please go in the other room.
3) Costco dino nuggets!! Again!!
2) Please take that pillow off of your baby brother's head.
1) I'll give you a cookie if you don't tell Daddy we stopped at Starbucks today.

And the winner is: What is in your mouth? (a cracker) Where did you get it? (points to the floor... of the YMCA).

I know these ladies (HBM, Chicky, and Mrs. Chicken) will handle their seconds with far more grace than I.