Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Questions to Ponder

Why does every toy in the toy room have to be on the floor?

Why does every doll on the floor in the federally declared disaster area we call a toy room need to be undressed? It makes me a little sad every night, all those naked dolls lying around in crooked poses on the floor.

Why do I spend my time in the evenings cleaning the toy room and dressing all the dolls? Why do I have an obsessive compulsive need for the seven different types of blocks to be sorted and put back into their correct containers? Why do I do all the puzzles and hunt down all the missing pieces from under the couch? [Wait. I can answer this one. Because it takes Ess and Gee almost thirty minutes to completely destroy all of my hard work the next day. Thirty blissful completely occupied toddler minutes. (Okay, yes, and because I am an insane neat freak.)]

Why, in our house with two entire floors covered in hardwood, does every single CODE RED poop overflow situation occur on the carpet? Does HP think perhaps, incorrectly, that I need practice cleaning carpets? I've had dogs. I don't need practice.

Why do I keep forgetting to ask HSSH about the two inches of stale, stinky, disgusting water that won't drain from the bottom of the dishwasher? It's been two days. It must be resolved because the dishwasher is now full of dirty dishes. Maybe he will read this? Sweetheart? There's two inches of disgusting water that won't drain from the bottom of the dishwasher!

Is that an indication of the need for some kind of therapy? Trying to communicate with your husband via your blog?

Why, whenever I tell someone that I have a nanny on Mondays all summer, do I feel guilty and then qualify that blissful statement with, "I mean I love staying home with the kids and all..." ? A friend called me on this today. She said I don't have to justify the nanny to her, nor should it make me feel like I don't love my kids enough because I need a break from watching them destroy the toy room and undress dolls. Right. I have a nanny on Mondays all summer. Hurray!!!!

Why do I ever, ever buy expensive toys? No matter how many bells and whistles a toy has, it never occupies them for more than twenty minutes. But, this:




















They did this for AN HOUR AND A HALF yesterday. I kid you not. I answered all my emails and looked at some catalogs. Those water squirters cost 97 cents. I filled them with water and suggested that they clean the fence. They preferred to clean the tree, but seriously, I would let them chop down the tree with their teeth if it kept them busy for ninety minutes in a row.*

I stole this gem of an idea for occupying toddlers from my very favorite neighbor and friend. Anyone else have ideas this brilliant, simple and inexpensive for keeping toddlers busy? Please (please, please) share!

*No trees were hurt in this squirty bottle activity.

I just like this one....


7 comments:

tz said...

Came to your blog by way of 'faith and humor's blog' and love the spray bottle activity, so wish I had seen this when the boys (yes, I eat cereal) were younger!

Jane Somers said...

I'm stealing the spray bottle idea. Have you thought of putting a chalk bullseye on a tree. I think my older boy would dig that.
You have a nanny???!!! Bitch!
(hope you know I'm joking)

anymommy said...

I know. She's fabulous too. Nursing student, kids love her. It's a small piece of heaven.

I'm going to try the bullseye!

Lisa said...

That is awesome. I would never have thought of telling my two wee ones to squirt the fence with a squirt bottle- genius!

My daughter can spend significant amounts of time dancing. Little Brother always sits on the stairs and watches her peformances. It is so darn cute. He yells "bravo" after each song : ).

katy (aka funny girl) said...

I want a Monday Nanny too!!

Anonymous said...

Love the spray bottle idea. Here's another one--paint brushes and a small bucket of water. Tell them to paint the deck, house, driveway, etc. My kids are 6 and 4 and they STILL like to do this. This is my fave way to entertain them when we are at our local pool and everyone has to get out for an hour because of a "fecal accident."

Love the blog! Keep posting!!

Truda

michmomto3 said...

I am very jealous of the Monday Nanny. You should be extremely proud and should shout it from the roof tops. :)

Purchase small scrubbers with handles or buy some cheap sponges and have them clean rocks. My son has done this in preschool and his teacher says they can do it for a very long time. She claims to have the cleanest rocks in southeast Michigan.